Sunday, October 12, 2008

Blogging stopped again.

If this sounds unintelligible to you, let it go.

I can just stop and simply don't explain why, or even lie about why I do stop my blogging. I don't need pity, I'm not that childish and my friends know it, I don't say things for people to get back at me saying "poor thing", anyway, I'll leave comments open, and anyway I'm saying the real thing: I'm stopping because I don't feel good, because I'm suddenly heartbroken; so it's not funny to keep over my hobby like this at all, of course. I expect to be rescued from a pain that I can't manage, like a child, and I accept that that is somewhat childish. Why saying more? I know everyone, no matter how mature is, have went through something like that, aside particular details. I want to hear that everything will be alright. I'll be ok? I just want to know: at what price; what I will lose -that I don't want to lose- in the process; I want to state that I don't want to lose anything and things must be like they were before I started suffering, so obvious. I am good, I'm pure, it took me a long time to notice and accept those two facts without blushing. Sometimes I just need people and the circumstances (that thing so difficult to define) to be good to me too.

If this sounds unintelligible to you, let it go. Can I ask you to not feel tempted to comment nor contact me, please? Don't know why exactly. I'll leave the freedom of commenting open, I believe in freedom!, and I like truth! but should ask for silence. I'll respond, if I have to, only in my head with the best of me, will not respond in written here. I can tell and talk and reveal about myself and my problem, but why boring myself and others more than with my ideals in poems and my plastic images? Drama queen I am? So funny to think that I "became" one. I'll leave this open as I opened my heart unnecessarily, just wanted to, although it may not seem that I opened my heart. I let this post here also because I feel it reveals the level of my confusion and pain somehow, or it will do to me later. And I want this ugly part of me to remain here, visible, I am like this now. I don't get it, I don't understand myself, and I don't understand anything else, I'm blocked by pain, as we've all been and felt at some moment in our lives, I guess.

The heart wants what it wants.

I love, and I'm ignored.

3 comments:

•♥•♥[V]♥•♥• said...

what happened bro???
take care man

i know you ..you are a gr8 person.A man with values.A man of peace.

talking may help..if u ever want to share something ..i am here brother.

whatever has happened will not stay long..you have faith in yourself and take care m8.

[V]

yo misma said...

Aunque no quieres comentarios, no puedo leer sin decirte que algunas personas sentimos eso literalmente eso del corazón roto y lamento tanto que estés pasando por ese dolor que a mí al menos no me dejaba respirar, tú te preguntas y te respondes que si pasa, porque sabes que de alguna forma inexplicable, pasa, el tiempo corto o largo es eterno, pero llega, quisiera darte un abrazo, reconfortarte de alguna manera, comparto tu dolor y espero que tengas un respiro pronto.

andrea said...

No one can rescue you but yourself. But it's true, when you are heartbroken you expect someone or something to rescue you. The truth is it'll go away (hopefully) but while you're down just let it flow and enjoy your sadness as much as you can, then, you won't even notice when it goes away.
Puedes imaginar tu vida todo el tiempo feliz? sería muy aburrido...
Mejor invierte el tiempo en tu arte y cuando menos lo pienses vas a leer el post y vas a ser diferente, con una experiencia más en la vida. Es bueno desconectarse un tiempo y pensar...y sentir...
Leí tu post y sentí ganas de escribirte aunque no te conozco

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